if.....

you know what? all those good impression of you gradually starts to change.
if only you realise/knew it. it would be better.
its not that i want to hate you or what. just that.. it has change. really.
you're not the person like you used to be.
perhaps, maybe... one of the reason is i rarely talk to you now.
but still, i can feel that you're changing. no? prove me wrong then.

lonely.

it has been long time since we had a nice chat.
you've been quite busy these few days or perhaps for the last few weeks.
and our chat usually ends within mins or even secs or even when i started it, it never continues. 
if only you knew what im thinking and feeling. which i doubt you would.
sometimes i just feel lonely. really lonely.
im just longing for someone out there to talk/entertain to me all night long.

those times.

i fcuking miss those times when you used to be nice and sweet towards me.

a new experience.

hopefully I will not regret the decision I've made.
These few days have been hectic for me ! Rushing assignments and stuffs. This coming week gonna be busier than ever. Its always the same when holidays are coming. Rushing for submissions. Foreverrushing I guess. All the best to myself I guess. Hopefully I will go thru this smoothly.

hi december

time flies really fast that its already the last month of the year. 

i havent really enjoyed to the fullest. can time slow down abit?

ohwell, i doubt so. 

past few weeks, my twin has been tolerating my nonsense/jokes/etcetc ! loveher ttm man <3

 

& recently... someone let the cat out of the bag !

dont know if he really understand malay or not..

but he started shooting me with qns that particular night.

seems like he knows? or maybe not? idk.

and idk whats wrong with me man ! 

when i dont meet him, i wanna see him and talk to him.

but when he appear right infront of me, i have nothing to say. gosh.

feelings

everytime i look back at the chat logs, i start to feel differently..

those same feelings i used to had when i chat with him. 

now, im starting to get into contact with him again. am i taking the wrong step all over again?

i dont know. whenever i chat or see him, this weird atmosphere starts to come. 

like my hands starts to tremble cos of nervous? and my ears starts to turn red?

perhaps this are the signs of ..... ?

i have no idea. during the two months break, i repeatedly told myself to get over it. 

but now, what is this? why am i so fickle minded. goshhhh. 

and now, the way we chat is the same way we chatted the first time..

what does this mean? damnn. 

long time no blog

it has been quite a while since i last blog huh.
well i suppose its time to update.
i have a freaking submission on monday for model making.
and practically, i've not completed my model! hopefully it can be done by sunday afternoon or so.
im gonnna be a hardcoreee tonight and complete at least 80% - 90% of my model. tomorrow gonna paint it.
enough about work i guess.