those times.

i fcuking miss those times when you used to be nice and sweet towards me.

a new experience.

hopefully I will not regret the decision I've made.
These few days have been hectic for me ! Rushing assignments and stuffs. This coming week gonna be busier than ever. Its always the same when holidays are coming. Rushing for submissions. Foreverrushing I guess. All the best to myself I guess. Hopefully I will go thru this smoothly.

hi december

time flies really fast that its already the last month of the year. 

i havent really enjoyed to the fullest. can time slow down abit?

ohwell, i doubt so. 

past few weeks, my twin has been tolerating my nonsense/jokes/etcetc ! loveher ttm man <3

 

& recently... someone let the cat out of the bag !

dont know if he really understand malay or not..

but he started shooting me with qns that particular night.

seems like he knows? or maybe not? idk.

and idk whats wrong with me man ! 

when i dont meet him, i wanna see him and talk to him.

but when he appear right infront of me, i have nothing to say. gosh.

feelings

everytime i look back at the chat logs, i start to feel differently..

those same feelings i used to had when i chat with him. 

now, im starting to get into contact with him again. am i taking the wrong step all over again?

i dont know. whenever i chat or see him, this weird atmosphere starts to come. 

like my hands starts to tremble cos of nervous? and my ears starts to turn red?

perhaps this are the signs of ..... ?

i have no idea. during the two months break, i repeatedly told myself to get over it. 

but now, what is this? why am i so fickle minded. goshhhh. 

and now, the way we chat is the same way we chatted the first time..

what does this mean? damnn. 

long time no blog

it has been quite a while since i last blog huh.
well i suppose its time to update.
i have a freaking submission on monday for model making.
and practically, i've not completed my model! hopefully it can be done by sunday afternoon or so.
im gonnna be a hardcoreee tonight and complete at least 80% - 90% of my model. tomorrow gonna paint it.
enough about work i guess.

timetable.

on monday, timetable was out! & guess what? on monday sch starts at 4 , ends at 9pm.

and the next day, starts at 9am. what kind of timetable is this man !

i need my sleeeeeeep. the rest of the days are quite okay i guess.

ohyes! i feel like baking macaroons. those colourful ones. ate it before at my uncle's open house!

with durian filling. delicioussssss :D gonna bake it, if i have time these remaining holiday.

tanned

 hi ! 

i've something to confess. im freaking tanned thanks to my sunburn :(

ohyes, school's starting soon. yes, finally im gonna be busy back.

what have i been doing 1month plus ? i have no idea.

i guess most of the time i spent is sleeping. agree? 

anyway, this blog is not updated daily... so follow me at twitter!

i update my twitter everyday :)

http://twitter.com/undeniablewords 

dedication.

 

these are the awesome people that always make my day ! ♥

especially my dear twin sister, Syazana Marie

met her during my poly orientation. from that day, we get closer as each day pass.

through our conversations/ laughters, we found that we got closer and have common things between us.

well, it might be coincidental but we're born on the same day and month but different year.

our mums are the best mum in the world. both are outgoing.

what more? we're the talkative kind among our family members.

even our height are almost the same. likes & dislikes quite similar too.

where else can i find this awesome twin sister?

she's the one that has been listening to my troubles and giving me advice ever since i know her.

thank you for tolerating my nonsense all this time & giving me advice on everthing.

love you to the max! ♥

;(

seeing it made me tear. i dont wanna cry but i cant help it. i cant even avoid it.

peace.

 

sit by the beach, look out at the wide sea and sort out your thoughts

oh great.

of all times, im sick today ! eye is pain like abdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz!!!
& flu is acting up again. gosh. what a combination of sickness.
this sucks to the max.

hard to get

Hari Raya has been great so far thanks to my lovely uncle/auntie/cousins that made it awesome !
delicious food is served at every house & of cos, i cant stop eating.
to think that i still wanna lose weight this month .. quite hard i guess?
alright, i need to pamper myself soon!
should i follow my brother to USS this friday? omgg. i cant decide !
but its with his friends... hmm.. then i'll be the only girl. :O
anyway.. drama/movies is what i've been doing on my lappy this few days.
tomorrow gonna go out again! hope will be fun :)
alright, ciaos !

bye.

awesome day today. finally pampered myself today without worrying about anything.
due to that, i got one bigbig hole in my pocket. have to start saving up!
gonna go out tomorrow again! hope will be a great day :)


------------------------------------------------------------------

freedom.

this is what i've been waiting for, FREEDOM. finally.
the few months of effort, time, sleepless nights, endless money spent in our work have paid off!
besides that, not to mention the fun we had together while working together and having fun in studio!
my dear coursemates, if you can see this, you guys are effing AWESOME! will miss you all ! :(
will miss those fun/laughter/smile we had in studio! well, its time to enjoy people! 2months break! :)
see you guys in october when sch reopens again! <3

face it.

can I start again with my faith shaken?
cause I can't go back and undo this.
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser. I'll get through this

answer.

I NEED AN ANSWER.
PLS ANSWER ME.
ANYONE?

begining

holiday has started. but still have material tech test & model making left before im totally free.
these few days have been hectic & i've finally managed to catch some sleep !
not some but freaking long sleep. which is good isn't it?
other than school life, alot of things has been happening dont you think so?
yeap, it does.

unfair.

whatever i do, someone else will get the benefits.
it has always been like that, everytime.
its not that i dont dare to speak up,but i dont wanna break the friendship.

endurance.

im enduring. gonna keep on enduring till the last minute/seconds of this.
even though im sick and tired of this, i have to endure no matter what.
my patience level is running low. but i have to keep on enduring.
thats what im gonna do. endure till the very end.
& these few days im cranky, i know. but i cant help it.
& the way i talk to people is becoming more cold.
lots of things are going thru my mind. i need a listening ear badly.
need to pour out all my damn frustration out!

motivation.

you know what? i finally found my drive to do my work.
each time i see you, dont know why but i start to do my work.
each time i see you, i cant help but to smile/laugh.
each time i see you, my heart was like a racing car.
each time i see you, i feel satisfied.
each time i see you, you make my day, always.
each time i see you, i cant help but to remember each moments.
each time i see you, my energy level shot up all of a sudden.
each time i see you, i cant help but to notice you.
each time i see you, my actions are unusual.
each time i see you, even when im angry, i cooled down and smile thanks to you.
each time i see you, i just feel like talking to you non-stop.
each time i see you, i feel a rush in me.
even for a short moment, im sastified.

overloaded.

too many things on my mind.
cant think.
needabreakdesperately.

now what?

you know what? im a kind of person who is straightforward and dont like people around me especially those who are close to me to hide things from me.
if you have something to say, just say. dont hide.
it will only make things worse dont you know that?
and within these few months, so many things have happen.
unlike secondary school, our mindset are simple and such things rarely happen.
but now in poly, its happening everytime. why? i dont get it.
finding a person you can really trust and spend time with is tough. really tough.
life is complicated now in poly. im starting to regret every step i took in the past few weeks or perhaps, a month ago. if i didnt took that step, things wont turn out this way now.
however, friends keep telling me it will turn out fine/leave it like that/ignore. but how could i just ignore and pretend nothing happen? how i wish, everyone comes to me telling the truth on not hiding anything from me. to them, its fun hiding the secret. to me, its a pain in my ass trying to find out what issit about. im not being kpo or what. but, i just wanna know the TRUTH. cant you tell me? i really want to find out....

HI

HI !

idoubtanyonereadthis. if there is, pls comment ! :)